March 09
从08年的1月,到现在,整整14个月了。
这14个月里,
我安静,我等待。
刚开始的一段时间里,由于悲伤过度我开始自暴自弃
每一天都过着行尸走肉般的生活,
无目的,无思想。
因为悲伤,学校里的一切不再顾及。
后来便有了现在的我,毕业半年多了却没拿到应有的学历证书。
其实在校园里我根本就不是个称职的学生,
逃课,不交作业,外宿,网吧,方便面,
大三以后,我开始过起了神仙一般的生活。
这也就注定了我会是现在的这样。
开始相信,付出了必定有回报,
有时候埋怨白白付出的同时你得到的回报也许你并不自知。
越是珍贵的东西越是经历了岁月才越能看的清楚。
后来的我几乎一蹶不振,尽管心里还有残念,却不成火候。
那天再见她的时候,她说希望我今年能够顺利毕业并且考上研究生。
她说她已经看不起我一次了不想再看不起我第二次。
但是现在,她看不看得起我我已经不再重视,
她真的走远了,我不会再回头。
我心里想的,只是……
08年8月我进了kfc,无奈之举。
后来我就认识了晓琳,今年才大二的可爱女生。
第一次见面便很好感。
所以我的经历便没有都告诉她,隐瞒是因为害怕。
后来的时间里,我尽量以自己的经历去帮助她,
我的身份是一个已经毕业了的学长。
巧合的是,她也是8中毕业的,这学长才算是有名有实了吧。
她也很信任我,有了烦恼都愿意和我说。
这是一个未经琢磨的女孩,一切的想法天真、纯洁。
我喜欢她了可是不说。
她也有众多的追求者,看着他们一个个失败的样子于是决定不说。
现在每天我们都会定时联系,
很朦胧,却又似乎没有。
我不知道我们的将来会是怎么样的,完全不能肯定,
但我知道现在我很满足,每一天都会有目标。
我不会让她失望,所以今年我必须真的努力,
我心里想的,只是……
March 11
超喜欢,背景音乐就是,歌词也很让我感动!!!
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this goes out to someone that was
once the most important person in my life
i didn't realize it at the time
i can't forgive myself for the way i treated you so
i don't really expect you to either
it's just... i don't even know
just listen...
you're the one that i want, the one that i need
the one that i gotta have just to succeed
when i first saw you, i knew it was real
i'm sorry about the pain i made you feel
that wasn't me; let me show you the way
i looked for the sun, but it's raining today
i remember when i first looked into your eyes
it was like god was there, heaven in the skies
i wore a disguise 'cause i didn't want to get hurt
but i didn't know i made everything worse
you told me we were crazy in love
but you didn't care when push came to shove
if you loved me as much as you said you did
then you wouldn't have hurt me like i ain't shit
now you pushed me away like you never even knew me
i loved you with my heart, really and truly
i guess you forgot about the times that we shared
when i would run my fingers through your hair
late nights, just holding you in my arms
i don't know how i could do you so wrong
i really wanna show you i really need to hold you
i really wanna know you like no one could else know you
you're number one, always in my heart
and now i can't believe that our love is torn apart
i need you and
i miss you and
i want you and
i love you 'cause
i wanna hold you,
i wanna kiss you
you were my everything
and i really miss you
i need you and
i miss you and
i want you and
i love you 'cause
i wanna hold you,
i wanna kiss you
you were my everything
and i really miss you
i knew you gonna sit and play this with your new man
and then sit and laugh as you're holding his hand
the thought of that just shatters my heart
it breaks in my soul and it tears me apart
at times we was off i was scared to show you
now i wanna hold you until i can't hold you
without you, everything seems strange
your name is forever planted in my brain
damn it, i'm insane,
take away the pain
take away the hurt
baby, we can make it work
what about when you
looked into my eyes
told me you loved me
as you would hugged me
i guess everything you said was a lie
i think about it, it brings tears to my eyes
now i'm not even a thought in your mind
i can see clearly, my love is not blind
i need you and
i miss you and
i want you and
i love you 'cause
i wanna hold you,
i wanna kiss you
you were my everything
and i really miss you
i need you and
i miss you and
i want you and
i love you 'cause
i wanna hold you,
i wanna kiss you
you were my everything
and i really miss you
i just wish everything could have turned out differently
i had a special feeling about you
i thought maybe you did too
you would understand, but...
no matter what, you'll always be in my heart
you'll always be my baby
our first day, it seemed so magical
i remember all the time that i had with you
remember when you first came to my house?
you looked like an angel wearing that blouse
we hit it off, i knew it was real
but now i can't take all the pain that i feel
reach in your heart, i know i'm still there
i don't wanna hear that you no longer care
remember the times? remember when we kissed?
i didn't think you would ever do me like this
i didn't think you'd wanna see me depressed
i thought you'd be there for me, this i confess
you said you were my best friend, was that a lie?
now i'm nothing to you, you're with another guy
i tried, i tried, i tried, and i'm trying
now on the inside it feels like i'm dying
i need you and
i miss you and
i want you and
i love you 'cause
i wanna hold you,
i wanna kiss you
you were my everything
and i really miss you
i need you and
i miss you and
i want you and
i love you 'cause
i wanna hold you,
i wanna kiss you
you were my everything
and i really miss you
and i do miss you
i just thought we were meant to be
i guess now, we'll never know
the only thing i want is for you to be happy
whether it be with me, or without me
i just want you to be happy